Sunday, May 6

My circuts are cut. I'm wraped in wires and trapped in a shell. My positronic brain continues to malfunction and I am stuck here with no control of my muscles--numb beyond normal human comprehension. However, human I am not. I stopped being human a long time ago.

There is no equal to the pedestrian and mundane practices of a defunct isolated sanctuary. Or lack thereof. I've spent days and nights contemplating the merits of shutting off and letting my battery run out. There's no point in living if you can't feel. There's no real point in living if no one loves you.

It's time to shut down.

Tuesday, January 9

First of all, let me say that this is actually a rewrite of a post i wrote last, night THREE seperate times, but do to the sad, sad state of the somputers where I live they failed to post, or froze, or some other kind of shit to hinder you seeing them
Additionally, because of the way my computers are, I can't upload any pictures whatsoever. So you'll have to wait for them.
So in final, you will be getting a cheap, sad attempt to emulate what i once had.

Two of the pieces that i have in my portfolio have won Gold Key awards at Scholastic arts. SO that means this saturday i'm going to be gone all day to Tulsa University in order to receive awards and stuff and to pick up my art. ^_^ i'll be glad to have my art back, those bastards have had it since around november. kate's going to pick me up. then she's going to force me to go shopping with her and her boyfriend and her sister. 0_o
My eye has been acting up. It has a tendency to get out of alignment with my other and drift around. That makes me see double. But lately it has done this alot, and it's making it really hard for me to read some days. It's kinda scary, i wonder if there's anything wrong with me?
My english class got into a heated debate about religion today. It was horrible. I had so many things to say during the whole ordeal but I knew if I said them i'd be jumped and beaten by a bunch of baptists. The funny thing is is that one girl said, extremely serious, "I know everyone believes in god in some way...." I nearly died. Me and Geoff just shook our heads. After that, we read a funny story called Morte de Arthor. It had a funny part where Lucan lifted king Arthor, and arthor's guts spilled out. that caused Lucan to swoon and have his heart blow up and then he foamed at the mouth. ME and geoff laughed a whole lot. it was funny. ^______^
Mochi has been so nice to me. Seriously mochi, thanks a whole lot. She's been talking to me a whole bunch. Thanks! ^__^ I'll make a gift for you when i can upload again.

Speaking of gifts, I need to make a gift for kendra and L0cke for gracing me with their AMAZINGLY ASTOUNDINGLY FANTASTIC comics. ^_^

Saturday, January 6

My new friend Mochi is being very nice to me. Thanks mochi ^_^

I got six hours of sleep last night. That's probably more than i've gotten in the past four days combined. I just think too hard I guess. Other than that I've been very dead inside. I don't care about anything, and I HOPE the world ends, or the environment is destroyed, or something similar, just to show humanity how fucking stupid it really is, wasting their lives away at things like religion, school, and work. Not to mention that they do all these things as they simultaneosly turn a blind eye to every injustice which happens upon then, with the exeption of their fucking children not being able to pray in school.
But i'm of course not innocent on this, and do not claim to be. Because no matter how much you want to deny it everyone is inherently equally guilty as everyone else in this sick marionette show that plays out on that boil on the nutsack of a syphilitic donkey we call the planet earth.

Wednesday, January 3

Hello there.

I've been extremely angry lately and unsure of how to express it. Worst of all, I have somewhat of an "artists block" and find myself without any ideas nor any will to make any art of any kind as of late. That and I can feel my wisdom teeth coming in. I guess it's about time i got those fuckers removed I guess. But i'm too scared. Maybe i'll post some of the stupid sketches in my sketchbook that i've done a year or so ago. I don't know, don't expect much from me.

Sunday, December 17

I would like to thank my best friend for graciously linking this Blog, so in return you can find access to her site right HERE. Have fun, she talks and shows pictures about alot of things which will really open up your minds to the way that fat, juicy steak gets on your dinner plate. And trust me, it'll make you sick to your stomach.
Now, on with the show.
I have recently rediscovered what was my past enthusiasm for reading. I never had an appreciation for reading until I was around 10 years old and found that stupid movies on TV would never assuage my hunger for a story of such a scope that only a novel could deliver. I began by reading simple and mundane, as they are now to my more mature outlook on things, books such as the DragonLance series written by Weiss and somesuch teenage murder-gore thriller which R.L. Stein had proverbially shitted out onto the shelf of my WaldenBooks every some-such month or so (I'm sorry, I really have no respect for the man looking back, now). I then graduated to what would then become my ultimate dream by a friend of mine, Thomas Surrock, who handed me my first Piers Anthony book, A Spell for Chameleon, the first of a series of which I would later accumulate 14 under my belt. Unfortunatley, to break onto somewhat of a tangent, I have no Idea of where of what kind of a person Thomas Is anymore. He moved to Burmingham Alabama when I was 13 and I haven't heard from him since. I remember how he and I would occasionally have "Readoffs" suring the summer or varios intermissions within regular schooling. He'd always beat me of course, because he was literally a genius (according to his IQ tests) and, at least by my rationalization, he had at least a partial photographic memory which could be deduced by the way he memorized things so inhumanliy quick. Additionally, he was just a really good friend to me, and to mention, my only friend at that point of my life, and I wish I could somehow come back into contact with him and mavel at how much we have changed since we were last together.
To break away from my tangent, I have been recently re-reading Bearing an Hourglass, by Piers Anthony. I cannot convey how much his writing has truely touched me over the years, how is totally unique, surreal style of writing has stimulated my immagination for approximately 4 years of my life (breaking off when I totally stopped reading altogether), and how he is truely a writer in every sense of the word. He himself inspired me to become a writer myself at a young age, but I've somewhat abandoned that silly little penchant quite some time ago as I have matured. That and I have come to realize the true scope of difficulty it takes to get the place where one could consider himself a "writer," in the sense of the word, and I realize that it simply isn't worth the hearache it would cause to try. That and I don't believe that I am, as a simple way to put it, a good writer. I don't believe my verbal skills emcompass the flow and skill required for a quater of a million word novel. And we can see clearly once again, that I have ended my prior tangent with a new tangent.
I am, however, thorougly enjoying this book, and plan on finishing it and re-reading some more of Piers Anthony's marvelous works, and to continue to read those I have not yet read. Maybe this is a revival within my spirit? I don't think so, I'm still the grinch I always have been, let me assure you.

I leave you now until I once again decide to become free with my keyboard.

Tuesday, December 12

I awoke this morining in a bitterly cold room, and given that I do sleep in my "unmentionables" it was quite a physical and mental effort to rouse myself from the warm, protective bubble that is my large blue-plaid comforter. A little explanation is needed to convey how cold it was in this room. First of all, a massive cold front has blown in and without a doubt it feels as if it were below zero oustide. Second, the ductwork to my room is non existant, thus resulting in no heating whatsoever from the main unit of my house. And finally, in some cruel, un-needed gesture, my brother turned on my fan sometime during the night while i was asleep.
However, I did manage to rouse myself, and in the usual fashion, i stumbled around in a sleep-drunken haze trying to do my normal morning routine. However, my normal mourning routine was interrupted by the highly predictable event of my car not starting due to the bitter cold. This is not the first time this has done this. I simply got a ride from my mother today, as i do every day when this happens.
I slept through government, no surprise there. Actually, I didn't but it was basically the equivalent of sleep. She assigned us some group assignment and Lex, Amy, and I attempted it but didn't really get anything accomplished. Second hour was much the same, with the exeption of the irritating, unthought out comments which Zack decides to present infront of the class, which usually results in verbal ridicule by the mouths of Marty and myself. Me and Mart of course had our usual matsurbation discussions, and made fun of numerous "pop rock" bands such as creed and the ever laughable silverchair.
Next hour was slave hour and no elaboration is needed here. However, after that hour the AP studio art class went out on a field trip to see the gallery at Oklahoma Christian. Ugh. If I knew it was going to be religious in nature I would not have come; however, as often I prove to others and myself, my niavete get's the best of me sometimes. All in all, the time spent at the gallery was not fun; however, after the gallery we went out for Chineese food at Blue moon. I was presently surprised, my Hawain chicken and Lo-mein were quite tasty, and the hot tea helped warm up my body from the bitter cold.
After an hour of conversing about David Lynch movies at my table, which consisted of my art teacher Miss Blake, Todd, and Kallie, Miss blake and I went around and made sure everyone was ready to go, and we left back to school for the remainder of the day. and luckily enough for me, the remainder of the day was spent watching (or, for the most part, making fun of) a movie which consisted of the account of the life of Archbishop Thomas Becket. Needless to say me and my friends in that class did little watching.
I got a ride home from Allison, and probably the highlight of the day was the admiration I had for the new falling snow. after all, it will undoubtedly close school tomorrow, and it does look rather majestic as it dances atop the asphalt of the street. Allison and I both agreed that it reminded us of White Sands.

That's all I really have to write about for the moment.

Monday, December 11

I am working on this.
It's alright, it's not much of a picture but hopefully it'll look alright once i finish coloring it.
On a side note I get to go on another field trip tomorrow. However, i'm not too excited about it given the EXTREME cold of which I have never felt the likes of in my life. It is SOOOOOO cold up here, the kind that makes you feel like you're suffocating.
I am working on this.
It's alright, it's not much of a picture but hopefully it'll look alright once i finish coloring it.
On a side note I get to go on another field trip tomorrow. However, i'm not too excited about it given the EXTREME cold of which I have never felt the likes of in my life. It is SOOOOOO cold up here, the kind that makes you feel like you're suffocating.
Blogger is seriously fucking with me.

Sunday, December 10

L0cke is my hero. Jeez. He puts me and my silly artworks to shame. :[
Todays kind of sucked. Nobody wants to talk to me, even when I call them. I'm bored too. Maybe i'll go draw something here in a minute for all of you 3 people that actually come here and read this pathetic thing.

Saturday, December 9

I finished this picture today. I used photoshop 5.5 and my mouse. Man, making these would be so much easier if I had one of THESE, eh?

Donations are always being accepted, email me to find out how.. ^_^

Friday, December 8

I made this picture today. It's a part of an AC i'm doing. I'm not finished with it, i'm going to watercolor it.

By the way I found the link to Boredom Tastes like Chocolate. It's right HERE. If Kendra's reading this (YEAH RIGHT) I'm sorry i didn't have the link. 0_0